This Is It

Congratulations everyone! You have successfully made it with me to the end of the semester. It has been a wonderful past few months, full of learning and opportunity. As a result of my course coming to an end, this will be my final blog post in relation to my learning there. (Feel free to pull out the tissue box, I will too.) Although, as I continue my educational journey, hopefully I will find opportunities to share more information and thoughts here on my blog. (So, stay tuned and come back to visit occasionally, maybe there will be something new!)

This week in class we focused on the subject of divorce and the impact it has on the institution of the family. (As well as some of the things that increase the likelihood of having one and a few ways it could look as one moves forward into a new relationship after.)

One of the biggest/hardest obstacles that comes after a divorce, is the realization of the impact that it will have on the lives of the children. (If the couple has any of course.) There are often intense custody battles over who truly deserves to take care of the kids and “which is a better parent.” Commonly the kids end up jumping back and forth between parents every other day, week, weekend, or possible every month. In extreme cases there could even be times where the child rarely sees their father or mother and is raised by a single parent or with a new mother or father if their parent remarries. If the child is very young this could be extremely confusing for them, as they likely don’t understand what is going on and why mom and dad are no longer living in the same home and/or spending time together.

Interestingly enough, two of the things which we talked about that increase the likelihood of divorce are delaying getting married and delaying having children. Intriguing, no? Why do you think that each of these could play such a significant role in the probability of getting a divorce? I don’t necessarily have the answer to that question; however, I do have an opinion of my own. I believe that it has a little to do with personal growth and maturity. I believe that the longer you wait to get married and have children, the higher your chance of already being “set in your ways.” By this I mean that you likely know exactly what it is that you want and the way in which you might want to raise your children. The longer you wait, I believe the harder it will be to find someone who agrees with you in that same way of creating a long lasting and healthy relationship. (That is not to say at all that it isn’t possible, because it is. However, there is something very beautiful about getting to grow and learn together, coming to the same conclusions and getting “set in your ways” side by side.)

I believe that one statistic worth mentioning is that about 70% of Americans who divorce, in about 2 years from doing so, state they could’ve and/or should’ve saved the marriage. 70%! That is an incredibly large amount. This goes to show a bit about the important of preparation and effective communication. Take the time to date and get to know someone. If/when things appear to be getting serious, make sure you have those important conversations prior to the decision to get married. You may be madly in love with them, but are your views of the ways in which it is right to raise children similar at all? There are so many major conversations that should be had. Already married? Congratulations! Make sure that you are practicing good and open communication with your spouse. Make time for each other, council with one another, and remember the love you have grown over time.

Every situation is different, and I understand that every divorce happens for a reason. Our role here is to make sure we are prepared for what is to come, whether we are married yet or not, and if we are truly making the best decision for our families.

I am passionate about the family. I know that it is a critical and crucial institution in society (which is increasingly being attacked and frowned upon) and that the responsibility of creating strong and healthy ones lies in each one of us. Let’s do our best to stand true to knowledge we have and the importance of families, shall we?

Thank you for coming along with me on this journey of learning. As always,

Stay Golden!