Fatherhood

Surprise! This is a lucky week because we are getting TWO posts instead of just one. As you can see by the title, this post is dedicated to the work and role of fathers. I recently read an article titled “Fatherhood in the Twenty-First Century” and would like to point out/speak on some of the points that I found to be the most important.

The Absence of Fathers in the Home

• In every family, there are rules and roles for/of each member. When there is not a father present in the home, there can be significant impacts on the lives of the children as well as the mother. The article states, “…increase in father absence is particularly troubling because it is consistently associated with poor school achievement, diminished involvement in the labor force, early childbearing, and heightened levels of risk-taking behavior.” Often the impact is different for sons and daughters, they are generally affected in separate ways. But despite this, it is saddening to realize the impact that it has when a father is not in the home, speaking to the importance of his role.

Generational Involvement

• This point speaks to the importance of setting/being a good example in whatever role and/or responsibility that you may have. In the article it expresses, “…men whose fathers were involved in raising them have been found to be more involved with their own children, to take more responsibility for them, to show more warmth, and to more closely monitor their behaviors and activities.” Of course, it’s not accurate to assume that every great father had a great father and as such that’s why he does so well. In fact, there are probably many fathers who are just as involved, responsible, and warm, because of the lack of a father like that in their own lives and their desire to create a different atmosphere for their own children. Either way, it is impossible to change the events of the past and as such we must focus on who we are now and the impact/example that we are being. (Because that example could impact many generations to come.)

The Perfect Father

• I wanted to include this point to emphasize the fact there is no (worldly/earthly) example of a perfect father. In the article it says this well by stating, “No single definition of ‘successful fatherhood’ and no ideal ‘father’s role’ can claim universal acceptance or empirical support. Rather, fathers’ expectations about what they should do, what they actually do, and their effects on children must be viewed within the contexts of family, community, culture, and current history.” We live in a world full of constant comparison and doubt, where we are led to believe that we must act and be a certain way, and this includes an expectation of fathers. No two families are the same, no two fathers are the same. It is very important to live without judgement about the lives and situations of others.

(Full “Fatherhood in the Twenty-First Century” article can be found here)

I think of the relationship that I have with my own father, the role that he has played in my life. I am extremely grateful that he, with my mother, raised me in a similar manner to the way in which they were. Though the generations we grew up in are very different in terms of norms, technology, speech, dress, etc., the beliefs and principles are/were the same. Thanks to my father I have a genuine love for work. (Not to say that it is always easy, but rather that work, especially family work, brings a great sense of satisfaction.) I enjoy trying new things, beginning new projects, and helping/serving others.

I greatly appreciate the fact that my father isn’t perfect, as strange as that may sound. I believe this has allowed for me to realize just how good of a job he has done in raising my siblings and me, because there isn’t a single person on earth who is perfect. Yes, my father makes mistakes, but we all do! I have come to understand, growing up, that he has always done his best, and his motivation and focus has always been on his family, even if sometimes we don’t realize/see it. May we think of the impact of fathers in our daily lives and their role/responsibilities within the structure of a family.

Of course, I would like to also acknowledge that I know and understand there are many who grew up without a father or father figure in their home, or who possibly had negative experiences with them. I have great respect for you.

Stay Golden!