Parental Responsibilities

My mother always tells me that the greatest love and joy she’s ever experienced is that of becoming a mother. (Let’s just say I’ve also heard the phrase, “you’ll understand one day when you’re a mom” more times than I’d like to admit.) I’ll forever be grateful for her kindness and example in my life. Likewise with my father, who has taught me countless important lessons and is always the person I turn to when it’s time for a good laugh. Together, my parents made a pretty great team raising my brother and me. I know that much of my character and the principles that I hold dear to me today are a result of the teaching and examples of my parents.

Of course, it’s important to note that each pair of parents (and single parents too) will have/has a different approach and way in which they have raised, or want to raise, their children. I personally do not believe that there is a perfect way and/or form in which one must raise children, it will be tailored to/by each family. Although, in class this week, we did discuss five things that children need as they are being raised.

1. Contact/Belonging- This is critical! The necessity for children to have contact with others in any form, not just necessarily through physical touch, is an important part of their socialization. It’s one of the ways in which they will learn and have their needs met. An extreme example of how this could impact the lives of children is through “feral children.” A feral child, sometimes referred to as a wild child, is one who has lived (or is living) in complete isolation from human contact (generally from a very young age) and as a result has very little experience of human behavior, care, language, or social skills.

2. Power- When mentioned here, power is not to be interpreted as control, influence, or authority over other people. It is my belief that children should not be taught that they are better than others or that they can manipulate the people they encounter. What I mean here by power in children, as they are being raised, is their ability to realize the great impact they could have on/in the world, their capacity to do exceptional things. (In another sense, their capabilities and potential.)

3. Protection- There is not too much to be expanded upon with one. Children need protection as they learn and grow, both physical and psychological. As parents this is a significant and paramount responsibility.

4. Withdrawal- I believe there to be remarkable value in expressing to children that they do not have to run faster than they have the strength to be able to. In other words, it is okay to take breaks and steps back before getting back into the task at hand. As a personal example, I remember when I was young and had big projects to do for school, I would get frustrated when things stopped working in the way, or at the pace that I wanted them to. My parents would invite me to step away for a little bit and calm down my mind. (This usually included a quick card game with my dad or listening to music with my mom.) Doing this allowed for me to dwindle down my frustration so when I returned to my project, I could see it in a new light and try something new.

5. Challenge- This connects somewhat to the need of children to have power in the sense that they should be able to learn and realize their capabilities and potential. Having challenge as a child allows for healthy skill building while also teaching about undue risk taking. An example of this could be a toddler, after having just learned to walk, trying to conquer climbing up the stairs step by step. Instead of simply lifting the child all the way up, one could allow for them to experience that challenge and test their ability and determination in being able to accomplish it.

There are, of course, so many more needs which children may have, and it can vary greatly family to family, child to child. What other needs can you think of which are critically important in the learning and growing process of children and that are within the responsibilities of parents? As per usual, please leave a comment down below! Until next week,

Stay Golden!